December 2009
76 posts
Why I will never eat or bang again
Wegman's Checker Lady: Are you pregnant?
Me: What?
Wegman's Checker Lady: Are you pregnant?
Me: No.
Wegman's Checker Lady: Oh, I -- It was just the way your coat was laying.
Me: I don't even want to eat this food I'm buying now.
Wegman's Checker Lady: No! You don't look fat, it was just the way the coat was. But you know, be careful.
Me: I'm going to go cry into my curry. And what now?
Wegman's Checker Lady: I'm not saying you're fat. It was the coat. But be careful if you don't want to be pregnant, because I know things. I can sense things. This one time I asked a woman if she was pregnant and she said no. But then, two weeks later she was. So be careful.
Me: .....
